A Negotiation Tactic that I Practice in Construction (and everywhere else)

I read ‘Never Split the Difference’ by Chris Voss and I learned about this technique called ‘naming the negative.’

So let's say there are two people talking, trying to get to middle ground (whether it's a relationship/friendship/potential client), and you can see that your partner/friend/client is very hesitant but is not saying why. It feels heavy and awkward but instead of letting the negative energy hang heavy in the air, you can ‘name the negative.’ For example, you can say ‘it seems like you are very hesitant’ or ‘it seems like you are uncomfortable,’ or ‘it seems like there's something you want to say but you're not saying it.’ And it takes away the power and the weight from that negative thought or the hesitant feeling and let's your partner/friend/client feel comfortable enough and welcome to elaborate and explain even a little bit what is going on inside their head.

I've always thought of myself as a pretty direct person, but even being a direct person and calling out people when I feel it's necessary, putting a name to this strategy, and even calling it a strategy, has helped me feel so much more comfortable in uncomfortable situations to call out the negative. Whether someone is crossing a line, or not saying as much as they could to clarify the situation and elaborate on their doubts, even if it's not a fully formed thought.

I highly encourage everyone to read that book, I think it's a very good read even to help you in your relationships with family members, friends, partners, and your coworkers. You don't have to be in sales or be a business owner for this to teach you a lot of good people skills. I myself am definitely going to read it again and again to keep it fresh in my mind.